cny

this year's chinese new year can be summarised in one word: disappointing.

today is 除夕, so we're suppose to have 团圆饭, and I was expecting the same as always over the past few years, but this year apparently everyone decided not to come to my house, except one of my uncles. its the eve of the new year, and everyone is supposed to gather in someone's house and have a meal together, even simple customs like this are ignored. disappointing but true. even though we're gonna meet at my aunt's house on 初一, that's not the point, cause it wouldn't be a 团圆饭, which defeats the whole purpose, even though we're together.

many people have been asking me why is this blog so emotional, like there's no happy thoughts or feelings inside me or something. actually there are, but there's nothing really significant that really made me feel truly happy inside my heart, except the past few saturdays, but other then that, not really.

I sort of had been told by this fengshui-fortune teller when I was in Taiwan in dec 06 that I have a very lucky life, and that the next year (which is 2007) to 小心陶花运, which means beware of girls, meaning don't get too close to them cause it meant bad luck. and looking back, she bluffed me. 2007 didn't really brought me close to any girl for that matter, let alone a relationship.

2008 may just be a special year for me, where I may just be falling in love with someone, although the vision seems blurry and unclear right now.

one word I'm guilty of nowadays is obsession, or what the oxford dictionary defines as the state of being obsessed. obsess means means occupying the thoughts of continually. and I get the feeling that i'm being obsessive. enough said, i know its bad so i'm not continuing.

I don't seem to be in the festive mood that I'm suppose to be in CNY, for this year alone. my friends agreed too. i don't know if it's the stress of the fact of being in an 'A' level year or just that being an age like this just brings the mood down low. anyway for now, I'm just not feeling it, the right way.

back to basic reality for me, the one thing I'm deprived of: the television. and watch it I will.