its 4 mins to 11 so I better be quick.

Orientation 02: EXOTHERMIC has finally ended, after 4 days of HARD WORK, screaming and shouting at people to hurry up and stuff, cycling at East Coast Park to make sure everything is going on well there and finally losing my voice.

I would like to express my greatest gratitude to the organising comm and the facils for the hard work involved, especially to SOLAS facils. We WON best house, totally unexpected. but EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED! *now where did I hear that from? haha*

now that this is over, back to reality. common test's in a week's time, haven't much started on revision, so shoot me if you can, really. I can already anticipate the no. of U I'm gonna get. Jon Ma says I'm confirm fail my CTs, actually my whole class, but I don't blame him, at the rate we're going, it's DDAY.

thank you for your support these 4 days, never failing to put a smile on my face. *you know who you are* haha.

Youth Olympics

CONGRATULATIONS Singapore; for winning the right to host the inaugural Youth Olympics in 2010! Well Done and let's hope that 14-16 August 2010 will be 3 good days indeed.

To all facils and especially the Orientation 2 committee, we're halfway there, 2 more days and its over! Hang on; Endure and Enjoy!

unexpected

words cannot describe how I feel right now. all in all, I'm HAPPY and so should you (:

I'll ALWAYS remember that matter, for as long as I live.

very long p.s. well done, for deleting that photo.

Although it's too surreal, it did happen, didn't it?

cny

this year's chinese new year can be summarised in one word: disappointing.

today is 除夕, so we're suppose to have 团圆饭, and I was expecting the same as always over the past few years, but this year apparently everyone decided not to come to my house, except one of my uncles. its the eve of the new year, and everyone is supposed to gather in someone's house and have a meal together, even simple customs like this are ignored. disappointing but true. even though we're gonna meet at my aunt's house on 初一, that's not the point, cause it wouldn't be a 团圆饭, which defeats the whole purpose, even though we're together.

many people have been asking me why is this blog so emotional, like there's no happy thoughts or feelings inside me or something. actually there are, but there's nothing really significant that really made me feel truly happy inside my heart, except the past few saturdays, but other then that, not really.

I sort of had been told by this fengshui-fortune teller when I was in Taiwan in dec 06 that I have a very lucky life, and that the next year (which is 2007) to 小心陶花运, which means beware of girls, meaning don't get too close to them cause it meant bad luck. and looking back, she bluffed me. 2007 didn't really brought me close to any girl for that matter, let alone a relationship.

2008 may just be a special year for me, where I may just be falling in love with someone, although the vision seems blurry and unclear right now.

one word I'm guilty of nowadays is obsession, or what the oxford dictionary defines as the state of being obsessed. obsess means means occupying the thoughts of continually. and I get the feeling that i'm being obsessive. enough said, i know its bad so i'm not continuing.

I don't seem to be in the festive mood that I'm suppose to be in CNY, for this year alone. my friends agreed too. i don't know if it's the stress of the fact of being in an 'A' level year or just that being an age like this just brings the mood down low. anyway for now, I'm just not feeling it, the right way.

back to basic reality for me, the one thing I'm deprived of: the television. and watch it I will.

Sometimes I really have to hand in to my dad, I must really learnt from him about this : not to take your emotions home. my dad works as a lecturer in ITE, with many students of different backgrounds around the country. Always, when he reaches home, he's a happy man, he does his usual stuff like reading the newspaper and occasionally watching the tv which I'm deprived of. Usually if you're working in ITE, you will have a certain amount of stress with the students and other matters, but my dad ain't that kind of person, he doesn't even talk about these matters at home.

And so I ask him, " why don't get you get stressed up and talk about it at home, I mean teaching in ITE surely brings about these problems?"

and he just said this, " why should I get stressed up over these things at home? A home is a place to rest and relax, not a place to rant and complain about my students, so I choose not to bring these emotions home."

and I really respect him for that, being professional to the point where he can even control or 'time' his emotions to not let it get the better of him.

this week has been a emotional roller coaster for me, moods changing as frequent as the unpredictable weather. and i hope that I will change this habit, for the better, and not let the fatigue and stress make me 感情用事 again.

get a hold of yourself, guanwen, get a hold of yourself, now. anger won't help.

To: the hopeless romantic.

THANK YOU THANK YOU so much my hopeless romantic partner for writing and giving me the postcard on wednesday, although it took me quite a while to understand it, I did and understood the true meaning of the lyrics written on it. a beautiful song it is. a beautiful song.

I'M A BEAUTIFUL SEED, I'M A BEAUTIFUL SEED! haha. thank you once again.

I can understand why you're feeling what you are now. I read his messages to you, of which they were not deleted. Honestly, he was charismatic and creative, not to mention caring. and it will seem quite difficult to let go, even for me. The messages were cute and lovely, not the ones people would usually receive, not even mine. And I'm jealous, of him and disappointed at myself for not being able to do much, as much as I've assumed I have, to help you let go. I thought I've done alot, but it all seems so far away now. The smiles and laughters didn't really help much, am I right?

I've failed in making people truly happy, and I'm sorry about it. I know I can never be like him, or even better, and after reading those messages, I think it's even worse. I blame myself for not being able to make you truly happy, like what I've promised myself to do so. I want you to be happy, because if you're not, I won't be too.

Forgive me, hopeless romantic, for not really helping you, as much as I've wished.

From: the other hopeless romantic.