I've just deleted all my older posts in the blog cause I just feel this blog needs a new lease of life. School isn't that great for me at all, failing almost every test and not being able to communicate with my peers the way I want it to happen. But life is just so unfair and I have to live with it. You can't change the world, but the world can change you.
I feel I'm kind of disliked in class. I get the feeling everyone in class wants to avoid me, and I don't know why. Is it because I'm too kaypoh, or I'm too offensive in the way I speak, or is it I'm just not good to talk with? I DON'T KNOW! I have always wanted to be the talkable type, where I can make people laugh with everything I say, like weihao for instance, but I know I'm not up to it. I just can't be stupid and lame all the time, but I want to be popular.
To be popular, you must have either of these 'qualities'. 1-be pretty or handsome & 2-be the clown/joker and make people laugh. I'm neither of those, so I guess I can't be popular. What am I talking about? Why do I have to live in people's perception? Forget about all the dumb fallacies, just focus on yourself. I am the centre of this universe, not earth, not even the sun. I must get out of my comfort zone, or nothing's going to change. Who am I kidding? You have to be pretty or handsome to be popular, no doubt about it. And I'm not.
I just don't believe what some of my friends are saying. They say I'm look handsome, potential eyecandy material. But who are they kidding? I have two eyes to see for myself. Of course I know if I look good or not, who doesn't?
Honestly I'm LOST. Lost the meaning of life. I really see no need for my existence in this world, its like I'm just a normal average human being on the way to selling my soul for the survival of the country's economic growth rate. I don't want to do these things. I just want to happy. Is this so hard to ask for?
